♥ Boys Over Flowers.

31.7.06

{jin xing shi -elva and anson/ when the angels sing -no angels/ baby dui bu qi -cocolee}
_
eh. i didnt blog abt ytd huh.
it was actually quite nice. spent so much time asking ard who wanted to go out. apparently they all had their stuff to do lo.
so i went out with my parents :D
ahs. it was quite nice lah. it was a nice day.
hahas.
my mum held my hand when we were crossing the road. i had to admit it made me quite happy.
eh. and we had some fun shopping. my mum almost bought sth that ive chosen. she liked the shoe but thought her feet didnt look nice in them ._.
well at least i knew what kinda stuff she liked now.
and i bought sth nice :D
hahas. yepps.
next on my list is a cactus. i wanna get one. sth living to put into my rm.
at least when im bored i can stare at it :)
today was quite nice actually.
but i unknowingly got my finger cut agn ._.
so so so suay.
and i barely noticed until i felt that it felt weird there.
looks kinda deep. wonder what happened. completely clueless.
and during chem we were supposed to remove those copper sulphate crystals frm the evaporating dish or sth.
and it hurt super much aft that =/
hais. getting so careless.
actually things are getting better lo.
hey i feel more normal. hahas :)
my mood also not bad lo.
zz. chem test on thurs. no sense of urgency. but better go study up or else would fail under acmm's hands.
gosh. e5 spent so much time on this chapt under elim. think abt 4 wks or so.
but us? barely 5periods according to qianhui :X
and i still cant rmb so much info on it.
need to restudy lo =/
eh. i found out that im really into this weird lifestyle.
now my latest slping time would be 10 and i would alr think its late without looking at the clock.
and i usually slp by 8.30 ._.
how abnormal. hahas according to others, its healthy ._.
do i look any healthier? hahas.
eh ok. i think i shall be off to complete the journal, summary, chem wkbk, geog wkbk or else i wouldnt be able to slp that early.

30.7.06

{baby dui bu qi -coco lee/ yan di xing kong -sam lee}
_
eh addicted to baby dui bu qi. its nice la.
heard it off the radio :)
wanted to go out.
appears that noone is free. and i think this skin sucks.
its in a mess la. esp the error thingy that appears. lazy to fix it alr.
cant do up any new skin now too. rahh. maybe will code one in sch when i feel like it.
found a pic alr. need to edit it a little =/
obviously its a little too hard to do on my current comp with the 16colour limits.
and the skin u are seeing, in my case, i only see black, white and grey ._.
so eh. if its really ug, i cant do anything abt it. hais.
and ppl like bala will keep mentioning that im in a 16coloured world. how vicious. lol.
slept at 10 woke up at 7. nth much to do. initally supposed to meet up shirlynn and yingzhen de.
and yingzhen left the stuff in sch and shirlynn couldnt make it ._.
i thought we arranged :X
i doubt we'll hv enough time alr lo.
need to type out 5compos each. and we hvnt allocated and stuff like that.
the two wk deadline is almost up ._.
ms lea will hv another excuse to get at us.
zzz.

29.7.06

{scandal}
_
eh. i slept damn early ytd. at 7plus i think.
my mum is getting surprised by my early slping times for this recent.
and i woke up at 6plus am. hahas.
didnt felt like wasting this morning. since it was so nice and i didnt felt like watching the sky.
the feeling would be horrible. like u slept watching the sky turn dark. and turn ur rm dark.
and u wake up when everyone is slping. and watch the sky turn bright. and ur rm becomes more lighted.
it reminds u that u hv been alone this whole night. so i would rather miss it.
its not always that we hv these mornings free. since we spend like 5 mornings out of seven in sch. and no one bothers to appreciate them since they are so common.
so decided not to waste it and go out :)
went to macs since i really really had to eat.
i ate so little ytd. and i was super hungry when i was up.
yeps. so i went to central mac with dearie.
eh he's the only one who would wake up this early :D
hahas who say pigs wake up late. LOL.
and i had a fillet-o-fish. 2 hashbrows and a cup of iced lemon tea. ahas. full :D
the sci centre is hving some exhibition. abt dinosaurs. feel like going.
and to watch the lakehouse. and lady in the water. movies :D
eh i hv tmr free now.
maybe i should ask someone.
who wanna go? :D

hvnt been out with renee zy for a long long time.
and cf.
and sonia.
zz.
its time to plan get-togethers :)

28.7.06

{MISSING YOU -energy*fly to the sky}
_
suddenly like missing you alot. both versions. ahas.
wasnt online ytd. and i didnt use the comp at all. wow.
was studying for geog lo. but most probably going to do average for those application-based qns.
whatever. i think if those were straightforward qns i probably wouldnt learn and get high high marks.
eh then today was pretty boring. mrs angchanmaimai skipped her lesson agn ._.
she's getting so slack for this wk. and we want to do our ce presentation. rahh.
was at the resource rm for hist. and i accidentally injure myself when i was moving my feet into the comp area.
so suay :X
but the lesson was fun. our grp is named 6111840. by me wor.
a combination of our index nos. cheeling devised some handsigns for it. they are super fast and kenley refuses to learn. lols.
then a boring recess. and super boring emaths double period.
cant believe mr poh actually spent like 1 hr on 2 easy graph qns ._.
hais. i guess he thinks we're dumb.
went to bugis aft sch. eh ky was ard too. for dl's pressie.
hahas. got him a shirt la. which she carried back for her dl. hahaha :D
oh gosh. she'll kill me.

eh for the teachers' day dance we intend to do back the same thingy. wish us luck. bet we'll get in :D

im so tired now. woke up 3 times ytd night :X
and my inbox is so flooded. and my hp's batt is super low. zz.
shall go take a rest :)

26.7.06

{zhao mi -pan wei bo/ ma de li bu si yi -jolin}
_
eh. got back eng today. failed by a mark. but not too sad abt it lo.
i tried my best didnt i :)
all registeration for the teachers' day auditions must be in tmr.
we are trying to discuss today. so that our form can be in :)
hard to find songs leh.
listened through some songs. really hard to find sth.
had cldds today. timed prac. no hcl. ms lea was away for sth else i think.
timed prac was compre. took like 20mins to complete. was one of the fastest i think.
had half hr to ~~slack~~ rest :)
then cldds. forgot the file agn. this is like the 2nd wk i forgot.
how absent-minded.
kelmen was so pissed and made me set an alarm to remind myself to carry it tmr.
i shall rmb. hahaha.
had to collect money frm the rest for the photos.
yups. kinda all for today.
boring :X
just talked to dl.
eh there was this someone who sent me a message on friendster.
then i couldnt be bothered to reply lo.
then that person go ask dl abt me ._.
ehs. i seriously dont like ppl talking abt me (behind my back) la :X
dl says he's living in misery.
which i am pretty annoyed abt.
he's doing this bcos of a girl? -_-
what's the point. hahas.
geog test on friday. maybe will be off to get pressies with ky.
noticed alot of flags on my way back.
sporeans are getting patriotic.
very. patriotic.
ok shall go off to bathe. im tired =/
***
eh. GET WELL SOON :D

25.7.06

{zhao mi -pan wei bo/ wo men -energy}
_
zhao mi is a cute song. hahas :)
daryl sent me a couple of his songs ytd. he kept saying wilber's new album nice ._.
eh. got back amaths today. guess what? 17/25.
god.
i-was-so-shocked.
unbelievable.
b3 leh. my mum will be happy -_-
ahs. then my new sandals will arrive. ahahas :D
today seemed so weird.
maybe its bcos i got abit of flu.
or isit bcos of eh the ghost festival.
._.
rmb sleeping with 2bars of batt (more than half),
woke up with phone dead. no batt at all.
O M G. eh what happened at night? hahas.
and i woke up like half hr late thanks to my still-working biological clock. or else would hv been there super late.
then this morning. sch toilet in the morning.
then i thought i saw sth move. eh maybe its my imagination :)
hahas. he kept saying its my festival -_-
so i doubt they'll look for me lah. lols.
getting 17/25 is also weird. unbelievable. really.
watched brotherhood during ss tutorial. it was kinda gross at some parts.
like how bloody it got. and those maggots in the wounds. kinda made me lost my apptitite :X
still had to eat sth. since i got really hungry without consuming anything since morning.
the chilli in the burger looked like blood. hahas ._.
then acmm didnt come for her ce lesson. eh how can she do this. hahas. she so slack :X
i think she forgot abt our ce presentation alr. thought she said we could present during that ce period.
then assembly. debate. both clses taught by ms serene ow. god. they both not bad lah ._.
i found daryl's notes. finally. *phew.
if they were gone, i think i wouldnt hv a chance to live anymore.
zz.
im so bored. geog test is on fri isnt it. shall find time to study for it.
i like the chapter on plate techtonics anyway.
got the highest in that component in the geog mid yr :)
went to look for him aft sch. eh couldnt really help in his cleaning up.
hahaha. but it seemed cleaner aft that.
now im chatting with huimin. hahas.
go listen to zhao mi ba :)

24.7.06

{wo ye hen xiang ta -stefanie}
_
omg. today chao diu lian.
saw some butterflies. then i got so worked up. hahas :X
the other time was cockroach or sth. then someone else saw. today someone else saw too :X
eh. this morning we had chi test. i forgot all abt it too.
could see the lack of effort. the teachers werent bothered to set the papers.
they merely used the paper of some other sch.
but reasonably okay. had abt enough time but couldnt do much of the cheng yu part since i didnt study ._.
before the chi test was bio. quite fun today ba. we did some moving ard. better than those boring lectures.
aft chi test was emaths.
ahas. i missed that period since i was off to dental :D
and had early recess. the nurse told me to get back later since clarissa was still doing her tooth filling.
so i went to chat with the bkshop auntie.
hahas. she liked my specs so much lo.
so she wanted to borrow and get the exact same one.
then it was end of recess.
then the dental bit.
grrr. kinda hurt a little.
merely some teeth cleaning. :X
i think its psychological. but i still kinda feel the pain now.
hahas.
geog period immediately aft recess. kinda regret taking so long. ft showed us some nice video.
interesting abt caves.
then eng. v slack.
during chem we did the crystalisation thingy. didnt know i had such a wonderful lab partner. hahas
thx for helping :D
then went for a break. finally got the chance to eat sth frm morning till then. so went to grab a bite.
hungrily. gobbled down everything. hahaha
then hist test. had some time before that. the grp got so crappy and none was in the mood to study.
thankfully the hist test wasnt tough. or else doubt i cant make it.
hahas. hmm. i shall be happy. and take things by my stride i guess. maybe sometimes i see stuff too seriously.
that's why i wasnt contented with all that sort :)
but then agn now my attitude towards tests arent too gd :X
im not studying for them. hahaha.
must change ba.
hahas. one more mnth and 2 days.
its coming soon :D

23.7.06

{shen xin bu yi -tanya}
_
eh. i borrowed the hotel rwanda vcd. anyone wanna share the rental costs with me?
can pass u the discs tmr and hv it back on wed to return.
if u want then u can sms me by tonight.
something's pounding hard in my head. following a rhythemic beat every sec.
rahh. the headache :X
guess what i ate since this morning.
half a pack potato chips.
a fillet-o-fish burger.
some fries.
eh. isnt that alot? hahas.
ok la. should be studying alr.

currently listening to what's in my player.
_
zz. so bored. my parents werent back until morning.
and i was up at ard 7plus.
comp rebooting failed. i dont know how to do it. hahas x.x
whatever. at least i hv msn now. gd enough.
i can blog too.
headache now lo.
hist test tmr.
im feeling lazy to study. hahaha.

22.7.06

{wo ye hen xiang ta -tanya& stefanie}
_
suddenly like wo ye hen xiang ta alot. hahas. nice song.
went back for bio prac today. eh. was late for it la. 1o mins to be exact.
whoops. didnt mean to lo. stopped by to get some food since i hadnt taken anything in the morning. led to my being late.
rahh. obviously i wasnt the only one. thought it was bad enough alr. someother crap came like half an hr later. ms rozi was kinda pissed.
ah. then the bio prac. came without knowing what to do. then we had to wash the apparatus. then she began telling us what to do.
3e1 cls used up alot of potatoes and they used merely an hr and a half. we spent 2 and a half hr in the bio lab.
the 1st half to wash. then an hr long briefing. does she think that we are dumb or what? we can read the instructions off the paper lo.
she seemed to be merely repeating. like so draggy. so it ended so late.
and the experiment was obviously boring. hahas.
needless to mention, it wasnt anything interesting. i wonder why zhss doesnt do disection. plmgss has it lo. not that its nice to cut up animals, but indeed it sounds more fun.
so we had to cut.
.
..
...
potato slices.
god. boring and gross. hahas.
ms rozi complimented on my cutting of the strips. ahas :)
then we even had to prepare the diff concentrations of sucrose solutions ourselves. what is this? hahas.
in chem we usually get such stuff prepared lo. but in bio, we hv to do it right? zz.
titration is so fun compared to this despite me not knowing how to do the calculations.
my graph looks ok. and it goes the right way. but. the x-intercept cum the correct concentration of the cell sap supposed to be 0.3 moles/dm(cube).
i got like 0.5 hahas.
whatever.
then went out. to orchard cineleisure. watched recycle there. the movie not bad lo :D
its really meaningful. and some parts are really cool. the ending is really smart.
and i like how casual the characters are dressed. feels natural.
eh. there are scenes of dead ppl coming frm abv. like jumping frm buildings or what. alot of them come down together.
dont know what to comment abt this. but think its kinda comical.
eh. so tired now. i shall slp early tonight.
tmr need to study for hist test. but doubt there's much to study since i hv alot of those info in my head alr :D
*hopes to do well in it* hahas.
the 1st united front was a marriage of convinience.
the kmt was an urban party which had the support of the upper cls ppl whereas the ccp was communist-based and won the support of the peasants that made up 90% of the population.
thus if they combined to form that, had benifits to both.
ms tan's notes really help. they cover my whole chapter 2. some parts abit more cheem. so i think i wanna get them into my head and onto the paper during the test :)
ms tan gim hua rocks more than ms fu. lol :D
okay. shall go and hv a bath now then to bed :)

21.7.06

{ge qian -jay/ zui shu xi de mo sheng ren -elva}
_
had the bio test today. god. its bad la.
dont wanna think abt anything now.
zz.
didnt really revise. was more like sleeping.
couldnt help it when i couldnt focus. har.
today is racial harmony day. god. the clothes my mum borrowed were too large lo.
so i came without any. ht promised her qipao. but then agn, i look like i couldnt fit in that tiny piece of thing. so obviously i wouldnt even try to.
zy's one was the one she wore last yr. she didnt wanna wear it today so she didnt mind lending me.
then agn. obviously it was also ultra huge.
settled for lena's in the end. purple de.
its nice la. hahas.
no much lessons today. but there was still double maths.
eeks. i seriously dont like mr poh :X
ms lea dumped us the compos alr. left them in sch. but we hv 2 wks to read them and pick out 15. need to type out too.
rahh. more stuff to think of. and im so sick of it.
i like spending like 2 hrs everyday in my rm. waiting for the sun to set and the sky to turn dark. its nice.
im so bored now lo. my dad suggests going out for dinner. but no thx. i think will slp early agn.
my comp isnt working so well =/
zzz.

20.7.06

{wu di dong -tanya/ nan dao -junyang}
_
hmm. today isnt v nice. had official chem spa. and it dont seem to gd :X
acmm didnt even teach us anything on that before. god. i think i screwed it up.
took the time to wash up since there wasnt a thing i could do abt it.
just wrote abit of whatever i could. doubt can make it :X
tmr will be bio test on the heart chap. did i mention i cant get stuff like that right too.
zz.
im going to die :X
i cant focus now on revision. so im online for awhile until my dinner comes.
shall revise at night :)
and there's some problems with ie. so i think i'll reboot when im back tmr. wonders if im going out.
tmr is going to be racial harmony day. the clothes my mum helped to borrow are slightly big. so ht is lending me her qipao tmr.
yikes. but at least it'll look better than oversized clothes.
suddenly like the song nan dao and wu di dong alot.
nan dao has nice lyrics.
nan dao ni hai mei kan dao, zheng ge tian man man hui liao.
ni shuo de wo zong zuo dao chu le ba ni gei wang diao.
nan dao ni hai mei ting dao, wo de xin man man sui liao.
lian dian hua dou shan diao, ke shi ni de xiao zen me qing chu diao.
i like. hahas.
and wu di dong. totally fits the mood. hahaha.
ren lei de xin shi ge wu di dong.
zz. so hungry alr.

19.7.06

{zui shu xi de mo sheng ren -elva/ jie bu diao -harlem yu}
_
hmm. today got really boring.
amaths test abit challenging lo =/
wonder what grade i would get.
cldds did that crap play. zz.
cant wait for friday since its racial harmony day.
and the sat. bio prac then 6a gathering. and to get my earpieces for the mp3 player. yeps.
i wanted nth today except to be alone and get some quietness in the surroundings. but apparently it wouldnt work.
hmm. i guess my comp really needs rebooting. shall do that either on thus night or sunday. i guess i need time to redownload some programs =(
and my paintshop pro 7. maybe i can try adobe this time now.
oh yar. and agn, pls think before u say anything. u nv know what u are saying may be hurting towards others.
even little things that u deem as acceptable. put urselves into their shoes pls.
u arent that great urself.

18.7.06

{yong qi -kangta & vanness}
_
god. i got so mad today.
it was recess. and i saw the poster printed with their photo. kangta and vanness de la.
and i was like O M G. hahas.
spent the whole recess being so mad over that.
and obviously i bought a copy of teens which had their poster.
the bkshop auntie wants me to publicise that she sells that mag.
so ppl. go buy frm her. got free chocolate somemore. hahaha :D
but the main thing is still.. KANGTA AND VANNESS :D
omg. hahas.
kangta is so cute :D
chao like him la. lols.
junyang sucks on the cover can?
today there was also the counsilor investiture. ave lo.
got back emaths. I GOT FULL MARKS :DD
yeah. hahas. (^^)Y

17.7.06

? ? !
OMG OMG OMG.
MY COMP NOW HAS ONLY 16 COLOURS. OMG :X
im desperately trying to set things right. but this whole thing is just eh.. warped. yes.
warped and old. hahas. the colours are the main problem now. if i reboot would need to dl quite alot of stuff agn.
kinda lazy thinking all abt it.
and im praying i can get the sony laptop that i fell in love with =/
obviously its wouldnt land in my hands for nth.
wait long ba. hahaha. two thousand plus.
and i hv no savings ._.
but im hoping that i can hv it soon. ahas. time to slp and dream all abt it :X
shall call up my uncle and ask ask ask abt how to fix this colour prob.
getting used to the colours alr. OMG.

{behind these hazel eyes :D}
_
today sucks. hahas. had chi o lvls list compre. not a prob. heard two out of the four passages before lo.
lack of creativity. hahas. emaths test should be np too.
mr poh acted like it was some major exam :X
the list compre started at 3pm. but we were supposed to be there at 2.30 -_-
what were they thinking? hahas.
god. my comp has this stupid thing that keeps coming up. zz.
...
this is just freaking not right. whatever it is im feeling. im feeling gd abt u no more.
let's see how it goes. neither do i hv any idea what's going to happen.

16.7.06

{behind these hazel eyes -kelly clarkson}
_
now i know what the lyrics mean. hahas.
feeling kinda sad this couple of days. but i dont cry. like im so used to this feeling alr.
back frm cip. had the boring-est 6 hrs in my whole life. but we collected ALOT of cash as compared to the one i did last wk. i think we had abt 4/5 of the tin at least.
ahas. so pro. lols.
some ppl were nice. not so much of those dao ppl ard. hahas. who dare to dao me? LOL.
i think i dao them more. no mood to do la.
actually didnt even feel like going. i was hoping for an empty staircase landing where i could sit at without any disturbance frm anyone. and that would be good.
was early this morning. and those who promised to be early to have lunch tgt didnt appear until like 10mins before the briefing? and i was there super early? was it fair to me? practically wasted my time for u guys.
so i was hanging ard with yuning and weijian the grp. edmund came later. it was like they were so noisy. wished they werent ard.

my parents said they would come. in the end they too didnt appear. whatever lah. im enjoying my moments of isolation at hm. hahas. and loving it.

{yuan zou gao fei -sam lee/ zui shou xi de mo sheng ren -elva}
_
have been going off to slp pretty early this couple of days. hmm. i think it was 8 for ytd. couldnt really slp. but was watching the sky go dark. it felt nice. hahs as u can see frm the lyrics of the yuan zou gao fei.
i feel for that song :D
and i woke up at 6? watched the sky turn bright. hahas. its so meaningless to watch it there. maybe i should go to the beach soon. i miss seeing a nice unblocked sky.

im so bored now. not quite in the mood for the cip thingy. bet i'll reach early. can do my journal at mac's or sth and hv some nice breakfast.

15.7.06

{yuan zou gao fei -sam lee}
_
in love with that song. hahas. hmm. we kinda progressed much in discussion ytd regarding the bk. now we are settled for those concrete plans in mind on what exactly to do.
believe we can start work soon.
much of the homework pile is done too. so had some time to blog here.
can u believe that i slept for 14hrs at least? fell asleep at like 7plus or eight. woke up at 9plus since it was pretty noisy here. and went back to slp agn. hahas. too tired to get up.
and i forgot to contact kelmen as promised to discuss abt what he has to draw for the bk. hmm. yingzhen can draw quite well too :D
flag day is tmr. so i supposed i would take tonight to do abit of erm revision on maths and amaths. since i know how to do what is taught in cls, why not study harder for the coming tests. hahas.
*hopes for As*
so bored now can? i think i'll try to do up a sample for cover to see what i need to improve in.

13.7.06

rahh. im blogging agn. third post of the day. currently listening to fei ni mo shu by lin yi chen.
hmm. guess what. i found out who that person who took for me was. chey. its weisheng -_-
so kpo. hahaha.
ty.
anyway some ppl are so uber nice lo.
even kenley knew sth was wrong. hahas. thx for the concern. its extremely appreciated :D
see. told u my male friends are uber nice.
so tired now lo. i apologise for any late work within this couple of days. and also if i did say/do sth that u cant tolerate. eh. v sry. hahas.
kenley says he left his foolscap too. someone took it for him. hahaha. yes. we hv nice clsmates :)
i feel so much better now. kenley thinks i'll regret what ive said now. hmm. maybe. but its like hrs ago when ive typed the angry post. so eh. lets just move on eh?
that was how i felt hrs ago. so much better now :D
and i shall be nice tmr :D

oh yar. i forgot sth. totally unrelated to the previous post.
hmm. it was eng test ytd lo. and we werent supposed to carry any notes with us. so i tore off my geog piece of thingy frm the foolscap pad and put it infront of the auditorium lo.
and i totally forgot to take. when i was in cls, it was lying there on my table. OMG. who the hell helped me? i dont even know. pls identify urself. thankyou :D

ps. it was nameless. so how did u noe it belonged to me? -_-

{BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES -kelly clarkson}
_
i feel that the song lyrics of that song is damn meaningful now.
ytd was a nice day. until i reached hm. they really SUCK. do they know anything other than spoiling my day?
i mean its like they are the ones causing me more hurt. hatred. pain. agony. i experience all of these bcos of them. my world isnt too gd with them.
dont they know this? so what if they are my parents? they are just the pushing force that would eventually push me off a cliff. they are the ones who make me think of suicide. make me cry.
i dont think im wrong. so what if im not a perfect daughter that u want? u arent the perfect parents that i want either. tell u what. i damn feel like moving out. they want me back early. now im at hm. blogging. while thinking of this issue tears are alr there.
i damn hate them. they are definately not the dearest to me. and will nv be.
ytd i had the longest lecture frm her. in between those words held a tone that insisted i was the one at fault. why must she always use her "adult perspective" to judge?
her hurtful comments nv seem to realise that they hv changed into knives and tore thru me every min and sec. if u think im a failure, so be it. i didnt tell u to acknowledge me. i dont think i hv a family. im merely returning hm to a place to stay.
so u think i enjoy living with strangers? its nv my fault that the situation changed into this. it was the past when i opened my heart to u, yet u ignored me. treated me like i was nv impt to u. everything was him. that other kid that u guys hv.
did u know how much i felt when i saw u guys being so anxious when he had his nail off? when would u do that for me when im sick? sometimes, u dont even realise that. i can fall sick and hv no words of concern frm u. yet those ppl in sch would shower me with concern. and tell me to go back. this is why i like them. this is why i like sch.
u made me felt so alone. u made me felt so sad when i return hm to an empty hm. u make me feel so heartbroken when i told u what i felt ytd and u even misinterpret me and said it was gd tt there's no one hm to bother me when im studying.
is studying THIS IMPT? u see nth but my studies. u dont give a damn abt my feelings. and u act like omg i such a damn gd parent and i freaking care abt u and u gimme attitude. i mean pls. she kept talking abt nicole. this other friend who is a yr older. and she studying a damn load. she kept saying what nicole does. and insisted that she wasnt comparing. IF U DONT WANNA COMPARE, WHY WOULD U HARP ON IT?
if u wanna compare me with others, let me compare u guys with others.
u are no better. as a parent, u most probably failed. now i feel nth abt u but hate. i feel that i hate u. i dont wanna give a damn abt u ever agn. i tell u.
now u tell me u want me to open my heart for u. no way. im not going to. my heart is shut and sealed tight. no more such relationships pls. its sth that would only hurt.
ive given up long ago. so u too pls give up. since we could drift so far apart, we can nv go back agn. he'll always be there between us. i hate him for always wanting the damn attention frm my parents. i hate him for not respecting me. he thinks my parents will support him no matter what. so he treats me like s***.
i mean its like im ur sis. ur senior. if not for my parents i would hv like slapped u?
if not for respect to my parents i wouldnt kp stuff in for so long. now i really hate u guys. and im dying to move out. this place sucks.
other ppl are like so much nicer to me. and its not sth they are supposed to.
like seowying. i almost cried bcos i was so touched. she asked me if i was alright. how nice. and mrs raj was understanding enough to tell me that i could tell her my probs since i said i couldnt hand up my work when sth cropped up at hm. which was what happened ytd night. i couldnt do hw aft that although i wanted to =/
its like these ppl rock. my friends rawk. dearie rawk. they are like the stars up in a dark sky. my family is like rain in a dark sky. they bring agony.
throughout the whole period my mum couldnt get it off mentioning that she's alr v nice and open minded. its like pls. if u are open minded, why would u guys make such a big deal when kelmen called bcos of work?
why would u give a damn abt me smsing guys. so what if those ppl i sms happen to all be guys? if i tell girls my probs, they can only console. isnt is short term? guys are more practical. they think of ways to solve my problems. which is long term.
and a couple of my gd friends happen to be guys? like kyn daryl km?
so what?
it doesnt mean anything.
without these ppl (nice ppl like teachers, girlfriends/guyfriends/onlinefriends) im most prob like dead by now?
either i would hv cut my wrists and died. or jumped off a block. or being run over by a car. i had wanted to kill myself then. but these ppl reminded me that im really impt to them and really wanted to make me happy. i appriciate it. its not sth that someone unrelated by blood would do.
i hvnt said this to anyone until today.
now when i see cars, i kp hoping that they'll run me over.
when i see knives, i wish i could cut myself.
when i stand at a high area, i like how dangerous it felt like.
when i saw the rope today, i was so excited.
its so sadistic eh? zy thinks im going mad.
ppl like my mum saw what i wrote on the calculator. and didnt give a damn abt the meanings of the stuff written but made it big regarding the issue of me writing on it.
what kinda a mum is she?
and its like u dont do what other mums do. like making breakfast. when was the last time i ate sth u whipped up? like yrs ago?
the other time i tried to cook for u guys. yet no one appreciated it. in the end a large amt was thrown away. is this what u mean by u care? does this show that im impt to u?
u dont appreciate any effort i make. u want to see nth but gd grades on my report bk isnt it? would u give a damn if im dying and bitten inside?
u think u hv gotten me alot of stuff that i supposely want. but those arent what i want. those are merely what u think i want.
u want me to try to understand u. hv u placed urself into my shoes first?
if u hvnt, is it fair to ask me to make any move? i personally feel that u suck. that's all. since i can live so long without hving u as a part of my life, it shows that u are not impt now.
i just hate u. where were u when i needed a listening ear? its pointless talking now.
and my mum made such a big fuss. guess what? she thinks i would be the prey of some pervert?
she thinks too much. she even thinks teachers cant be trusted. and the sch workers -_-
it seems that to her all guys cant be trusted. ie. me to not trust them.
which i felt quite insulted since she's also trying to imply that i know ppl who are like that. which is entirely not true. bcos my male friends are so nice and obviously decent. its crap to say tt of them.
and of course dearie is so decent too :)
my friends are all so uber nice. they treat me better than my parents do. i hate it when they insult these impt ppl in my life.
she also thought zy was the one who kept asking me out so my grades are falling. i think they are going to improve. the first round of tests for term 3 isnt even here. so dont judge.
now i know amaths :D
and i know emaths :D
i noe so much more. at least it proves tt im not crap.
she supposely gave me a chance to rebutt. but did she listen? no. she used what she thought was correct and logical to tell me i was wrong. as usual.
maybe its the truth that one should not make desicions when feeling emotional. as what zy told me. i felt like leaving hm ytd. just packed in the mid of the night and go.
but obviously i didnt lah. since i was so tired. hahas. i needed slp. dearie calmed me down :) so i fell asleep and woke up late as a result :X
i feel so childish talking abt this matter this way. but i just feel so disgusted. i am not like ur pet. im not to be caged up.

11.7.06

{bei feng chui guo de xia tian -jj*jin sha/ xin gan qing yuan -guang liang}
_
hmm. the oral went on just fine. i think i could hv done so much better :X
wasted opportunity. hahas.
didnt read the passage quite smoothly lo :X
wasnt nervous at all. and didnt felt any sense of urgency abt it. lols.
ft let those ppl frm our cls taking the oral today off early for lunch. how nice :)
today 3e5 was selling western-based food in sch. eh. actually it didnt taste too gd. hahas.
koped fish frm yuning lo. it cmi (cannot make it) lo :X
so bored. hated esp this morning's chi double period.
i mean ms lea was like there. and teaching whatever. and we were like stoning at the back.
she had no realisation that tt was boring lo.
or was it us. hahas. i think the prob is us. we think its boring :X
she's really decreasing my interest in the subj.
hahas.
almost fell asleep then :X
i miss ms lie =/
she's like the greatest teacher on earth. and her chi lessons rock lah :D
but she's gone le. the dunman ppl are so lucky to hv her.
acmm wasted a lesson on ce reflections. hmm. so we didnt present.
which i think was gd. at least she wouldnt be on her way to a hospital aft listening to what we hv to say. wahaha.
had melon icecream aft oral :D
totally so nice :D
someone smsed this morning to wish me luck. how nice :D
hmm. i think newurbanmale.com hv nice clothes. as in for females lah. shall go get some in the future :)
im in love with the orange tank ive seen there lo :)
hmm. surfing newurbanmale.com now. i think their clothes are nice. but the models and pics all gross me out :X
i need to get graphpaper tmr. i think zy took my stack and didnt return me or sth. dont know where it is now.
rahh. im so sleepy :X
sudden craving for orange juice. always hv it to perk me up =/

10.7.06

{scandal/ 127day/ bi ai geng ai/numb}
_
so bored now. wasted the whole aft waiting for them to do what they propose to. should hv just went back. addicted to those abv mentioned songs. shall send numb over to my hp when i hv the time.
cool song :D
O lvl chi ORAL is TMR.
OMG. im actually kinda nervous lah. and the presentation too. grr. i think acmm really will be disgusted by what we are going to show. i personally think it sucks.
not much content to talk abt :X
and its like all crap lo :X
but who cares abt our moral ed grades. lols.
cant imagine the oral. hmm. gotta relax and i'll do my best lo :D
ok. off for a bath now. shall try to prac today. and talk in chi frm tmr morning so that i wouldnt sound so english at times.

9.7.06

{scandal -kangta & vanness/ kiss me 123 -wilber}
_
the presentation making was quite a success. hahas. they went off le.
lena and huimin didnt come. how can they do this to us? lols.
whatever. i guess it was more fun without them :P
the presentation wouldnt be too serious :)
i think we might just get angchanmaimai disgusted :X
sent cat off to the bus stop. hmm. somewhere further off lo. kinda scary walking back frm there alone.
kept thinking of those masks. they really freak me out badly :X
the walk back freaked me out too :X
hmm had some funny moments today to share. we googled on pap lah. and we found a pic. thought its funny. hahas.
its related too. plug and play. PAP. lols. it would appear in our slideshow XP
like some parts of the slides. as in design-wise. then the content isnt too much. but i guess we can research and elaborate :)

a bath and i shall slp :)
nudge ("V")

i said i would include at the end of the post right? forgot le. here it is.

_
The girl sat in the darkest corner of her room, where she always does when she felt the same way. She shut her eyes, trying hard to stop the flow of tears.
A part of her told her to be strong, yet it didnt work. Her eyes watered again to her memories and her painful past she yearned to forget yet could never do so.
It was something she could not help but to dwell upon.
"Fairytales that I thought existed; never did."
It was never meant to be. She shook her head sadly and her beautiful eyes were then tear-stained.
Her gaze met the penknife unintentionally left on her desk. With the littlest effort, she reached for it.
"Click, click." The blade slit out. She raised her wrist to her knees and rested it there. The blade, gleaming under the moonlight, was then pressed to her bare skin.
Her hands were instantly stained red as blood gently trickled down. The edge of her lips moved up. It was her last smile.

{missing you -fly to the sky}
basically a korean version of the song with the same title, once covered by energy.
_
hmm. okay. i shall be patient and blog :)
typed the eng assignment just now. the one we are supposed to do for the vocab book. describing feelings. hahas.
decided to do on sadness. since its so much easier for me (i think).
shall add into the last part of this post later on.
daryl read it alr. sent it to him, which he thought was sadistic :X
have to recall what happened on friday. i have a bad memory u know :)
fri
it was basically a boring day, since zy wasnt ard. but the morning sky was amazing. was alone and watching the clouds and hving breakfast. sometimes its gd to be alone :)
the yangzheng kids had their ball threw over again i think. they wanted to get me to help. but i think they managed to get it out. zy helped them with tt on thurs :)
it was a little weird without her ard though. it was one of those rare few days which she wasnt ard. hahaha.
and i openly took out my hp to snap a pic of it. muahahaha. the only teacher ard was facing the other side of the canteen anyway :)
our cls was used by other cls. so we were at the physics lab. hmm. quite slack there lo. no one was in the mood to study. and we got to sit under a fan. so comfy. nice place to slp. hahas.
but i didnt lah 0:)
cat was distracted. she kept doing her debate thingy. and the debate didnt turn out well. or should we say our opponents seemed better prepared, more organised and confident?
hmm. felicia practised well. so i guess her part of the speech was not bad. then cat the 2nd speaker. she abit out of pt alr. talking abt blogskins when the main pt is like blogposts.
then it was bala. hmm. his rebutt was not bad :D
but his style - too casual.
then the day ended earlier than expected. so we actually sort of abt to leave sch alr. but alot were stopped at the gate since the security refused to let us out until 12 exactly.
and the crowd kept piling. hahas. funny sight.
went to j8 with renee aft that. she treated me to haagen dazs icecream :D
melon was damn nice. ty hor. hahas. felt so xin fu while eating lo :D
then went back for awhile. used the comp to blog as mentioned. and left for that freaking movie.
it was damn boring lo. wanted to slp in the cinema. but the sound system for a new cinema was tooooo goood and i couldnt when the sounds are blasting out frm the speakers :X
did i mention the intro with the names and credits of who did what was like 2mins long? omg. such a waste of my time. hahas :P
the movie was 2hrs plus. shouldnt hv went. could hv slept longer if i didnt.
woke up bright and early on a sat morning just for that flag day. reached the collection pt at like 9.45? realised i took the same train as dennis. eew. hahas. jkjk.
we reached super early. i thought we were supposed to be there 15mins earlier at 9.45 and it starts at 10am. which was wrong and it actually starts at 10.30 and we only need to reach at 10.15am.
half an hr earlier. rahh.
didnt slp enough lo.
flag day was so uber boring. some ppl werent very nice. they act like they couldnt see us when we were talking to specifically THEM. erm, is that what u would call mature adults?
we were working so hard for a gd cause lo. and u act like this. how rude. some were uber nice. when i just came out of the station a very very nice kid came out and immediately placed a coin into my can.
how nice. i didnt see him coming lo. neither was i the one approaching him. so he didnt get the sticker. how spontanious :)
one auntie didnt donate. but gave me yuning and yingzhen tissue packs. hahas. so cute lo. appreciated it anyway. ty.
and some others donated agn when they alr did. they are so nice. hahas.
then we talked to some strangers also doing similar stuff. hmm. its nice lo :)
got this 2 guys frm the southeast cdc or sth de. they were giving out flyers for some fashion fiesta. hmm sounds like a nice event. but missed the auditons alr.
yingzhen was super hardworking ytd. she got so much more donations than what yuning and i got tgt.
but i was so slack XP
i get distracted at bugis and nv get things done. wahahas.
bought a new bag. the auntie was frm zhss too. when it was still a girls' sch. she so nice lah. gave me discounts aft discounts. hahas :)
i cant believe how much i ate ytd. other than drinks, i merely had a tube of those biscuits with the dip-in cream and 1 tako pachi that yuning offered.
i didnt know tako pachi was nice :)
shall get it in the future.
we reached the collection pt and were early. didnt know that those ppl went to set up the table at the other side of the mrt. so a whole grp of us zhss de were like stoning at the other side lo.
generally it was a fun day.
went to somerset mrt and was walking ard the area with him.
hmm. he had a haircut. hahas.
time kinda flew. it was ard 7 le. then we went back lo. the bus took so long :X
eh. i was like out for the whole day. reached at 8plus. had to get zy's hw for her.
they were downstairs lah. her mum said i look better now. such a compliment :D
hahas. super tired then. bathed and slp. yups. end of the day's log.
sun
then today. eh. i did sth v v v embarrasing. i woke up at 6plus lah.
i saw the time on my hp. i thought it was a schday and i went waking everyone up thinking that we were late. so i freaked out.
acted like i was mad or sth, then my brother told me it was a sunday. then i was like omg. v embarrassed :X
kinda couldnt go back to slp aft the whole thingy. but eventually did since i needed the slp.
later in the day i did my emaths wksheet. hmm. i could do all the qns :D
im flu-ing now. kinda badly. packed the stuff in my rm and dumped alot of old stuff. the dust did make me sneeze alot.
i knew i could nv use them anymore so they had to go. hahas.
now im blogging. then later i need to prepare some slides before they come over to do the ce presentation :X
going to central to fetch them. hmm. cat will piss me off if she's going to be late that is. she has swimming lessons scheduled lo. shall kill her if she's late. muahahas.
hmm. okay. stop here lo :)

7.7.06

wth. my comp keep doing its shut down business for like the fourth time when im blogging. so im too lazy to retype what i did just now. shall do it when im not feeling this pissed.
and kelmen called to say im supposed to freaking recontact those ppl who i did and tell them that the outram mrt shift is changed to ajunied. this sucks.
very very pissed now.

6.7.06

{ni shi wo xin zhong yi ju jing tan -elva/ true -ryan cabrera/ ai qing bu neng zuo bi jiao -pin guan}
_
hmm. i was sleepy aft the meal that i almost fell asleep on the bus. hahas :X
took our weights today. hmm. i thought i would be heavy. but i got lighter. hahas :)
class photos are out and they passed the samples ard today. place the order for all 4 :D
hahas. couldnt submit the compre today since i was kept busy by calling up those ppl im supposed to and couldnt even do.
all thanks to kelmen who wanted me to have a share in contacting them.
tmr is friday alr. have to watch the movie that everyone thinks is stupid. superman sounds so lame :X
sat would be nice. flag day. changed my shift to outram mrt le. morning frm 10.30 - 2.30. so can have the aft free :)
unfortunately got to know that we are all supposed to attend another flag day. on next sunday. chose the aft shift. i guess the 6hrs shifts will be super boring =/
im so bored lo. kyn is nice :)
yeps. that's all for today.
oh yar. i forgot sth. returned a found wallet :D
yay. i did sth nice. hahaha 0:)

5.7.06

I've been tagged.
1. Do the following w/o complaint.
2. Choose 5 bloggers to do this upon completion.
3. Leave a tag on the 5 tagboards to announce he/she has been tagged.
4. Start your entry with "I've been tagged!" then do the following.

Favourites.
Colour: white.
Food: egg and sausage rice :D
Song: true - ryan cabrera
Movie: nil
Sport: bball?
Day of the week: friday
Season: spring
Ice Cream: honeydew :D
Currents.Mood: dreamy
Taste: -
Clothes: sch uni -_-
Desktop: comp
Toe nail colour: beige?
Surroundings: living rm.
Annoyances: -
Thoughts: him(:

Firsts.
Best Friend: jolene wong (:
Crush: matheius lee (:
Movie: the land before time?
Lie: -
Music: abc song -_-

Lasts.
Cigarette: ...
Drink: grn tea
Car Ride: 6.30am
Crush: (:
Movie: forgot le.
Phone Call: 5pm
CD played: shino lin compilation

Have you ever.
Dated one of your best friends: no
Broken the law: jay walking?
Been arrested: i doubt i'll be (:
Skinny-dipped: in my bath tub? lols.
On TV: on newspaper hv (:
Kissed someone you don't know: nopes.

Things
5 you are wearing: sch blouse. sch skirt. underwear. a blank expression
4 things you done today: slp. lol. talk. hw.
3 things you can hear right now: true by ryan cabrera (: birds chirping. typing.
1 thing you do when you are bored: slp.

Tagged:
brenda
cheryl
chingfang
hanliang
daryl

{tangerine dream -dai/ true- ryan cabrera/ more than words -energy}
_
hmm. damn in love with true. its a nice song. hahas. sent it to my hp le :)
i hv some free time now. so im blogging. yeps.
came back with jonathan lau since zy has tution. he was quite noisy :X
should hv came back alone. hahaha.
for the moe exel day we are supposed to carry out stuff back. left those files with him(: since the box was uber heavy :X
almost died on the way. hahas.
oh yar. i found my geog txtbk and notebk le :D
oh yay. hahas. but then chem ntbk still not found :X
all those past notes all gone :X
cant listen to songs on my player now. the earpiece completely spoilt :X
how did i manage to spoil it?
hahas. unimaginable.
so i hv to get one soon =/
im so bored. nudges (:

4.7.06

{ba ai fang kai -fir/ love story -van fan}
_
hmm. today sucks. i think everything sucks. am i being too neg?
its like things are piling up. those responsibilies. how burdened.
she kp giving me more stuff to do for cldds. and how can like 3-5 of us complete a bk in like 3 wks?
only 3 of us are doing now lo. who else will even give a damn and wanna join us? if they professed interest, they would hv been with us long ago.
i mean when im walking im trying to think of a nice bk cover and concepts to bring out the bk.
and when i do anything like slping, i cant seem to get other stuff out of my mind lo. this is not done. that is not done. wth.
and the pt isnt abt cip hrs given for us to do this. it doesnt matter for the cip lo. who cares. deadlines suck.
cldds so slack. then now then tell us we need to do it in 3wks.
i mean i cant be doing this kinda stuff slipshot lo. no way.
and the zhss webby thingy. i wonder when its coming. they didnt even plan properly. like when is the training and stuff.
actually im feeling rather pissed now. more to myself. hmm. i cant do any jianbao bcos i dun hv the papers with me. and its not tt i dun wanna do.
i thought i hv them.
rahh. feels so stupid can?
just what am i ranting abt?
and also the ce presentation. im not just going to let it rot. hahas. im the leader anyway :X
are they mad to appoint me?
hmm. im actually quite determined now. to get into nafa. get a diploma abt interior design. yups. and also graphics design. then i can design and print shirts and sell my own clothes. hahaha.
and my geog txtbk and ntbk and chem ntbk still not found :X
oh. im going to fail the next test lah.
so so so so fan :X

3.7.06

{mou nian mou yue mou yi tian -energy}
_
hmm. went to bugis today with him.
he wanted to get shoes lo. hahaha. the converse branch over there dont hv that much designs. yeps.
so he didnt get frm there. then off to get those jap icecream. it was grn. hahaha.
it stains teeth :X
hahas. then walked ard lo (:
saw cf there (:
at first frm far i thought she looked like cf. then i saw her new specs. her new bag. hahaha :D
and its her :D
omg. such a coincidence.
hmm. i still hv hw not done. but whatever (:
just rmbed that im supposed to be staying back tmr for cldds lo. the teacher couldnt make it on wed. so changed to tmr.
and i can hv wed free :D
i think i'll go back and slp. hahaha.
just realised too that next tues is my chinese o lvl oral :X
omg omg. hahas. must talk in chi more often now or else im bound to sound weird articulating in chi to the examiner.
and must rmb not to carry hp. hahas. and must not be late.
my mum's nagging at me. she's afraid i'll get chicken pox since according to her, its rather common now. but why dont i know of anyone ard me getting? hahas.
btw i hvnt got in in my whole life till now. i think i most prob wouldnt get it. hahas.
hmm. ok.
im so bored now.

2.7.06

{ni shi wo xin zhong yi ju jing tan -elva/ ba ai fang kai -fir}
_
gai zhen me xing rong wo ci ke de gan xiang. hahas.
frm the song.
sometimes the feeling can get so intense. maybe i just cant handle it at times.
was it wrong in the first place? i completely hv no idea =/

am i thinking too much? i seriously hope so.
maybe my hopes are too high. maybe the world sucks too much to be the fairytale ive long imagined it to be.
its always so disappointing.
things can nv be simple and easy to comprehend. this world is too complicated to live in. hahaha.

i was looking thru my old photos ytd night. was overwhelmed? its like i used to be this really happy kid. free frm everything.
i used to long for growing up. now, i wish that i could be a kid all tgt agn. it used to be so nice.
kids hv what we dont hv. their innocence. its sth we lost on our way to growing up.

i think i should stop pondering abt this now. hahaha.

okay. went out today with my parents. hmm. i got a new pair of silver pumps alr.
and some dress. i think i look weird in it. hahas. whatever.
saw bonia wallets. i want :D
hmm. let's see who can get me a plain black useful and nice bonia wallet for my bday lo.
or maybe i shall save and get for myself.
yar. i think i shall do that. hahas. on my bday to reward myself.
oh its july alr. hahas. a mnth plus lo.

a free day tmr. hope i can find sth to do.
of course hw. feel like asking ppl out to do hw tgt.
forget it.

1.7.06

{more than words -energy}
_
heys. go watch this.
elfen lied seems nice :)
im feeling sleepy. hahaha. i rarely get to slp late now. yet she woke me up :X
stoned the whole afternoon.
i wanna slp :X
i think i will get to repaint my rm end of this yr. im thinking of this blue that is in the sci lab. the brighter looking shade.
and paint clouds too :D
if possible change the bed frame to a wooden low-lying one. and the wardrobe to a small white-transparent (plastic) looking one.
and alot of (white) photo frames on the walls to put up old photos. hmm sounds simple :)
there's alot of stuff to be dumped. hmm they are everywhere lo. taking up alot of space.
im hungry.
hmm. off to cook noodles. feeling too sleepy to blog. hahaha :)